Silver Linings

Last Wednesday was the last day of school. In this strange year, we did all the learning: fully remote, half remote/ half in-person, fully in-person. One day in December I first helped my fifth grader with the Colombian Exchange, then my seventh grader with chemical compositions of stains and stain lifters for her science fair project, then my freshman and SOHCAHTOA in Geometry. 

My brain is mashed potatoes.

When the kids went back full time, I thought I’d reclaim writing time. But three schools meant three start and stop times. With COVID, the morning started at 6:30 to get the high schooler out the door and ended at 9:30 after I dropped off the elementary school kid. The afternoon pick-ups started at 1:20. The “all day to myself” that I thought I’d have ended up being four hours, and so little of that time was allotted to writing.

But.

This year held lots of special blessings.

The crazy schedule meant I had one-on-one time every morning with the younger three and an hour with just my high schooler every afternoon.

I realized this gift in March, and I let go of my writing expectations. It took until April to stop feeling guilty about not writing. 

Most mornings I pray with my freshman as I drive him to school- a ride short enough that he could/should walk but I will not give up this one-on-one time. I pray with my seventh grader as we cross our neighborhood and pull up to the back side of her school. I pray with my fifth grader as we wait in the very long car rider line, or I pray for him as he bikes away with the neighbor kids. 

So many prayers of thanksgiving, for God’s provision during COVID, for the schools and teachers who have done so much extra this year. Prayers for comfort for friends who have struggled with loss, illness, sorrow. Prayers for clear eyes and minds for kids taking tests, for teachers administering tests, for administrators handling issues. Prayers that we would turn to God in our day, that He would reveal Himself to us. Prayers that we would put others before ourselves, serve with a smile, and shine God’s light in the dark places.

Plenty of mornings are rushed and harried- shoes and socks carried to the car, a scramble for a face mask and a review of afternoon logistics. All that swallows up the few minutes in the car, and prayers happen after I’ve dropped them off. We do the best we can.

With summer upon us, I am a little teary for the loss of one-on-one, for time to pray, to start the day purposefully. But if I keep my mind open, if I let go of expectations, I’m sure God will fill this time with special blessings too.