Maybe this is the season when God is teaching me how to fail.
I’m not trying to be melodramatic. With time to overthink the six writing rejections I’ve received, I wonder if this is God helping me grow some skills at failing.
I’ve been remarkably lucky. Almost every job I’ve applied for I’ve been offered. Goals I set I usually reach. I make a plan and almost always see the plan end successfully.
However.
I haven’t risked much. My hesitancy was especially bad as a kid and teen. I look back on those years and regret all the things I didn’t do. Theater? Nope. Show choir? No way. Sports? Don’t be ridiculous.
I know this hesitation comes from my fear of failing.
I will be successful in this narrow realm I’ve created, and rarely do I push myself beyond these comforting confines.
Writing a novel and then pitching it to major publishing companies and some of the best agents in Christian Publishing is definitely outside of my everyday. I haven’t been successful so far. But I’ve been waiting, and praying for wisdom and discernment every step of the way. I trust this is the path God has chosen for me even though I don’t understand.
I don’t know how this publication journey will end, but I can say I’ve grown skills that I wouldn’t have grown otherwise. I’ve learned to lean on God in new ways. I do a better job of turning to His truth about my worth, reciting scripture when I feel my emotions wander to dark places. I am closer to Him, I know Him better, because I have failed.
What could possibly be more important or valuable than that?
As always, beautifully written 💗.
Thanks Aunt Renee!
Jenni this is just one difficult step on the ladder to writing success. I have an inch of rejections of my first book. I finally landed a reputable agent who loved the novel and after 5 yrs and many many rejections Elaine returned the manuscript. It didn’t sell to a big publisher as we’d hoped. Finally I’m successful in my own eyes. Self published and making enough money to pay for ink n paper and lunches out with your sweet mom. Oh and enough to pay an editor to edit and format my work. Do you know how you will define success- so you’ll recognize it?
Praying for you. B
Thanks for this encouragement Barb! I really appreciate it. Success at this point would be being able to talk about the book with people who’ve read it.
That’s why I love writing. Because I get to know my Heavenly Father better. It’s so tough, but hang in there. You can’t control agents or editor but you can control your persistence.
Thanks Jennifer! I appreciate your feedback and perspective.
Oh, Jenni, God is certainly using you and growing you in many and amazing ways and it to beautiful to behold. You are so loving and so loved.
Thanks mom!